I can’t get past Snow in about politics with half my family but get them to be more helpful. I made the decision to come back. I feel like God has me where I’m supposed to be but it sucks. And I wanna run. I just don’t like playing gameslike I have to like almost be like manipulative to like help people. It’s lame.

For a few of you will see me. I appreciate it. I really do. I can’t even look at people’s post. I can’t interact. I think with some of the things I got from my family here. Just got let down again. But kind of makes me a little more resolved. But I can barely like my mind. I’m so physically weak. I’m getting work with physical therapy. But I have like a lot of atrophy I guess I sat around too long and I gotta just get my cardio up first my strength. I don’t have much so if I get on specially after I’ve again had a little meltdown. I swear it’s not like some mental breakdown. It’s just the brain damage overload. Seeing all the oh poor Joe Biden and no, I’m just thinking fuck you. I felt so angry and then I feel like that’s not how God wants me, but who am I? I just kind of shut everybody out but and I don’t wanna post. I feel like if I’m not gonna be respectful and be able to look at people’s post. I can’t for sure. Can’t you know obviously those people that just want to see what our I’ve been doing it for a long timeI had totally understand. I inspire people a little more face-to-face, but in the written language, I know I’m just annoying again. I annoy myself too.